Dưới đây là bài mẫu mình viết cho đề thi IELTS ngày 22/11/2014. Bài mẫu ở mức band 8.0, các bạn đọc và phân tích nhé. Ngày mai mình sẽ post một bài học nữa chỉ ra những điểm hay của bài mẫu này.
In some countries, online shopping is replacing shopping in stores. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Currently, people are increasingly doing their shopping on the Internet instead of going to stores. I personally believe this tendency has both positive and negative effects, which will be discussed below.
On the one hand, there are some benefits of online shopping. Firstly, it is a quicker and cheaper way to shop since people can buy products at home without having to go to stores or shopping malls. For example, Amazon and eBay are two popular websites that provide a huge number of different products, and customers can visit those sites and make purchases easily. As a result, consumers can save time and the costs of travelling. Secondly, online shopping allows people to have a wider range of choices as they can compare different brands and products. For instance, buyers can easily compare the shoes of Converse and Vans, while it is difficult to do that at physical stores.
On the other hand, online shopping can be negative in several ways. The first drawback is that customers cannot try products before making a purchase. For example, a girl cannot try wearing a dress to see if it fits her body. Furthermore, products sold online are often less reliable, and the product that people finally get delivered to their house might have a poorer quality than expected. Finally, because online shopping is easier and cheaper, people tend to buy too much, which would lead to a large waste of money. This is less likely to happen if shopping in stores is more popular.
In conclusion, I believe the fact that shopping on the Internet is replacing shopping in physical stores is both positive and negative.
(274 words, band ~8.0)
7 comments
Nice.
Cam on ban nha. Minh thuc su thay phong cach viet cua ban de hieu vo cung. No lam minh tu tin hon voi von tu it oi ma minh co! Ban viet nhieu bai hon nua nha! Tks ban da chia se!
Hay qua
Hi,
I attended this test on Saturday. My ideas were almost the same as yours.
But i found I only wrote 22 lines totally and every line had around 11 words ( perhaps 242 words). Not sure whether examiners will give me a band 7…
Thanks,
Kelsey
Theo như những gì mình học đc thì mình thấy bài của bạn có structure tốt từ statement, topic sentences, examples, ideas, conclusion. Bạn còn sử dụng nhiều complex và compound sentences : because, if, believe that…, and, but…
Nhưng mà mình chưa thấy ấn tượng về khoản từ mới lắm? :3 cũng có thể vì topic khá gần gũi 🙂
pE nghĩ câu này : People can buy products at home without having to go to stores or shopping malls.
Em nghĩ là buy products at home cũng là, no need to/ without having to go to stories or shopping malls, nên bỏ từ ” at home”
A ơi, e paraphrase bài của anh thế này ổn chưa ạ. Cảm ơn anh về bài viết rất nhiều ạ 😀
In many parts of the world, people are now increasingly doing shopping online instead of going to the physical stories. I personally believe that this tendency has both positive and negative effects for society.
On the one hand, there are several benefits of online shopping. Firstly, it is a quicker and cheaper way to shop as people can easily buy products without going to stories or shopping malls. For example, in Vietnam and many Asia nations, people now tend to shop on the sites such as Amazon and eBay, where allows them to select a larger number of goods and services at their home. As a result, customers can save a great amount of time and expense going out for their shopping. Secondly, online shopping provides people with more comparisons about different brands and products, they can make better decisions. For example, buyers can compare the shoes of Converse and Vans on the internet, and have the best choice before paying out their money.
On the other hand. I recognise some negative impacts of going shopping online. Majority, people can buy what they want on the internet that under their expectation because of the exaggeration of online shopping advertisements. Another drawback of this trend is that customers cannot try what they have demands before making a purchase. For example,my little sister often hesitate whether buy the dress on the internet because she cannot try it on. Finally, online shopping is often driven people buying more products what they does not really need, leading to a large waste of money. This is less likely to happen if shopping in physical stories is more popular.
In conclusion, I believe that there is a rising tendency of going shopping by online rather than going to stories and shopping malls and this trend has both positive and negative impacts.